A Journey of Gratitude
From Spiritual Seeking to Awareness - Awakening to Soul Consciousness
Honoring the Teachers Who Guided Me from Childhood towards Awareness and Soul Consciousness
When I look back upon my life, I do not see one straight spiritual path or one single teacher. I see a long and intricate journey, a journey shaped by many teachers, traditions, sacred writings, practices, visions, struggles and moments of grace.
Some teachers entered my life directly. Others guided me through their words, their disciples, their music or the spiritual traditions they inspired. Some stayed with me for many years, while others appeared only briefly, leaving behind one insight that I needed at that particular stage of my journey.
Today, I bow in gratitude to them all.
Across their different traditions, each teacher shared a common thread: global peace begins with self-transformation. As individuals transform their thoughts, actions and consciousness, they contribute to the peace and transformation of humanity.
The Spiritual Seeds of Childhood
My spiritual journey did not begin in adulthood. The atmosphere of meditation and spiritual seeking was already present in my childhood home.
My mother was a devout Sikh, and our family regularly visited Gurdwaras. We also visited the Hanuman Mandir in Connaught Place, New Delhi, and honored Maa Durga and her nine divine forms during Navratri, Durga Puja. As a child, I understood little of the deeper spiritual significance behind these traditions and experienced them mainly through the color, joy and celebration of the festivals. Yet their stories - and their enduring message that truth and goodness ultimately prevail - remained with me. My grandmother, my father and my maternal uncles also meditated regularly, having received initiation from Maharaj Kirpal Singh Ji. As a child, I may not have understood the meaning of initiation or the depth of their practice, but I witnessed people close to me turning inward, sitting in silence and seeking a connection with the Divine.
These early impressions quietly shaped me. Before I possessed the language to explain meditation, consciousness or the journey of the Soul, I had already seen that there was an inner world worthy of exploration.
My earliest spiritual foundation also came through Sikhism and the teachings of Guru Nanak Dev Ji and Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Their message planted within me reverence for the One Creator, courage in the face of difficulty, equality among human beings, selfless service and the importance of living truthfully.
The Shabad Kirtan of the Sikh Gurus became a source of peace and hope throughout my life. Its sacred vibration often touched a place within me that ordinary language could not reach.
Pawan Putra Hanuman also inspired me through his strength, humility, devotion and complete surrender. His life showed me that genuine spiritual power does not arise from pride; it comes through devotion, purity, courage and service to a higher purpose. I loved visiting His temple with my mother.
My Christian school education added another layer to this foundation. I was taught to be kind, to forgive, to understand the pain behind another person’s behaviour and to help those who were suffering. These values stayed with me, although it took me many years to understand that forgiveness means not only forgiving others, but also forgiving ourselves, and that it does not require us to deny our own hurt. True forgiveness requires awareness, compassion, wisdom and healthy discernment.
Mr. Berry and My First Recognition: “I Am a Soul”
Our neighbor, Mr. Berry, was an engineer by profession, but his life also reflected a deep spiritual discipline. He was a devoted Shiv Bhakt, an astrologer and a highly intuitive person. Every day, he rose early to meditate and offered his morning prayers outside. His analytical mind and spiritual sensitivity seemed to exist naturally alongside each other.
When I was approximately eleven years old, I frequently visited their house as their daughter was my friend . But more often, I found myself having conversations with Berry uncle as I respectfully addressed Mr. Berry. He began sharing ideas with me that were unusual and profound for a child of that age. While explaining why a person may experience suffering in this lifetime, he told me simply and directly: “You are a Soul.”
Those words remained with me.
The deeper message I received was that the Soul’s journey continues across lifetimes.
Berry Uncle also gave me books that opened my young mind to subjects beyond ordinary physical life. One introduced me to Cheiro’s work on palmistry. Another explored life beyond death and contained photographs presented by scientists, psychical investigators or metaphysical researchers.
I no longer remember the precise explanations or the identities of all the researchers. The photographs appeared to show plasma-like forms, unusual lights or subtle shapes near people who were dying or had died, forms interpreted by the book’s authors or researchers as spirits, ghosts or Souls leaving the physical body.
I was far too young to determine what those images scientifically proved, but they awakened important questions within me:
What leaves the body at death?
Does some part of us continue to exist?
What is the difference between the physical body and the Soul?
What is permanent, and what is temporary?
Why do human beings suffer?
What happens to consciousness after death?
At that age, I could not understand the depth of these questions. Yet Berry Uncle had opened a doorway in my consciousness. He gave me an early glimpse of the possibility that physical life is not the whole of existence.
His words, “You are a Soul”- became one of the earliest seeds of my lifelong spiritual search questions. Yet Mr. Berry had opened a doorway in my consciousness. He gave me an early glimpse of the possibility that physical life is not the whole of existence.
When I now look back, I can see that these experiences were interconnected. In my own home, I witnessed my grandmother, father and maternal uncles practising meditation after receiving initiation from Maharaj Kirpal Singh Ji. Through Mr. Berry, I encountered books about palmistry, consciousness and survival beyond physical death. Through Sikh and Christian teachings, I received values of devotion, courage, kindness, forgiveness and service.
I did not yet know where these different streams would lead me. I was simply a child absorbing impressions—some understood, many buried and others waiting for the right time to reveal their meaning.
Only much later did I recognize that my search for Soul Consciousness had already begun.
One Creator and the Possibility of Returning Home
The teachings of Maharaj Kirpal Singh strengthened my understanding that there is one Creator and that we must not merely accept spiritual truths intellectually, we must contemplate them and experience them within ourselves.
I began to understand that our spiritual home is not only a distant place to which we return after death. We can consciously prepare for that return while living. Through inner awareness, meditation and sincere contemplation, consciousness can gradually turn away from its exclusive identification with the external world and begin its journey toward its Source.
This teaching remained within me, even when the demands and difficulties of life repeatedly pulled my attention outward.
Discipline, Initiation and Trusting the True Self
Through Maharaj Virsa Singh Ji, I learned the importance of discipline, courage and trust in one’s true inner self. I received initiation and entered a more disciplined spiritual practice of Naam jaap, daily recitation of a special prayer from the Sikh liturgy Nitnem, ‘Jaap Sahib’ and participation in the Havan ritualistic fires at the scared place called Dera.
Yet my spiritual practice did not remove the drama of my life. I struggled with painful circumstances, grief and difficult karmic interactions without knowing what lessons these experiences were trying to reveal. I absorbed spiritual information, but could not always translate it into clarity about my own life.
There were moments when I glimpsed a brilliant, angelic presence, but I failed to recognize its meaning. I was still drawn toward external glamour and the aspiration to become successful, capable and perfect in my work.
When I now look back at my earlier writings, I see that they contained a deep longing. I seemed to be searching for something, perhaps an unconditional form of love, perhaps a connection with my own Soul, perhaps the spiritual home I could feel but could not yet name. At the time, I remained largely unaware of the true nature of that longing.
A Brief Encounter with Islamic Prayer
For a period of forty days, I also practised Islamic ritual prayers with the 1000 beads rosary called Tasbeeh. During that time, I had an unusual and meaningful vision connected with the spiritual teacher involved. His mother later confirmed something about that experience, making it even more significant to me.
Although I eventually moved forward on my journey, I remain grateful for that brief encounter. It reminded me that sincere prayer can open an inner doorway, even when our association with a particular path is temporary.
Bulleh Shah, Gurbani and the Tears of Longing
The poetry of the Sufi mystic filled with intense love for the Divine, away from ritualistic orthodox religions; Bulleh Shah drew me into the language of love for God, a love that transcends labels, formal identities and social boundaries. Together with Shabad Kirtan and Gurbani, his words brought hope and peace to my heart.
For years, I wept in a longing I could not explain. Sometimes I cried for hours. I would turn within and try to reach or pull toward myself something that remained beyond my grasp. I did not know exactly what I was seeking and with whom to share my thoughts.
Perhaps those tears were not merely tears of sadness. Perhaps they were the Soul’s remembrance of something ancient, the ache of separation from its Source, the desire for unconditional love or the yearning to return to a state of purity and inner wholeness.
I did not understand it then. I only knew that something within me was calling.
Learning About Energy and Healing
My journey later led me to Pranic Healing program offered at the Shri Aurobindo Centre, New Delhi. I became a trained Pranic healer, though did not enter the field of professional healing, I did notice significant changes in my understanding and experiences. I began to understand the human energy system and the effect that thoughts, emotions and intentions can have upon our wellbeing.
Energy was no longer an abstract spiritual idea. I began to recognize it as a living reality operating through our thoughts, relationships, actions and physical bodies.
During this period, I visited the library , met followers of Sri Aurobindo and the Divine Mother. The Mother’s writings about children, education and human development deeply touched me. Her ideas were beautiful, compassionate and far ahead of their time.
Yet many of those insights became buried beneath the painful circumstances through which I was passing. Life seemed relentless. There appeared to be no respite from the grief and fear.
During one particularly frightening period, when I feared losing my child, I remembered the Divine Mother. She appeared to me in a vision, immense and radiant, as large as the wall before me. In that desperate moment, I promised that I would name my child after Sri Aurobindo, and I kept that promise.
That experience remains imprinted upon my heart.
Twenty Years of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism
A few months later after my son was born, I was introduced to the teachings of Nichiren Daishonin through Bharat Soka Gakkai, connected with the Soka Gakkai International tradition. For approximately twenty years, I was deeply involved in its study, practice and community activities.
This path empowered me with profound teachings about life, karma, inner transformation, courage and human potential. But even more self and the environment toward Global Peace. The concept of the Soul was not specifically discussed, yet at the time I did not feel its absence. There was depth in Nichiren Daishonin’s letters to his disciples, in the Gosho, and in the writings of Josei Toda and Daisaku Ikeda Sensei.
I remain sincerely grateful for everything I received.
I transformed through a consistent daily practice of chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo and reciting the Gongyo liturgy. The Gosho writings of Nichiren Daishonin became a source of guidance and rescue during some of the most difficult chapters of my life.
In 2000, I actively participated in promoting the global Manifesto 2000: Respect for All campaign, which Bharat Soka Gakkai strongly supported. I mention this because its message of respect, peace and individual responsibility was deeply aligned with the values closest to my heart.
When I later moved to another country and faced uncertainty, my Buddhist faith continued to provide inner strength. It would be both untruthful and ungrateful to deny how profoundly this practice guided, strengthened and supported me.
At the same time, I now recognize that something important remained unseen within me: spiritual ego.
It took root so subtly that I did not recognize it. My outward intentions were generally humble. I genuinely wished to help anyone I could. I gave my time, care and compassion freely. Yet beneath that service was a subtle edge created partly by fear: fear arising from my circumstances, the responsibility of raising two young children and the absence of consistent moral, emotional or physical support.
I had no genuinely heartfelt connection with whom I could safely discuss my situations, thoughts and uncertainties. I kept giving to others, serving others and feeling compassion for others, but somewhere along the way, I forgot myself.
Many painful situations continued. I read books, newsletters, lectures and Gosho passages, searching for answers. I could sometimes sense approaching danger, yet I did not know how to overcome it at its root. My resilience was slowly weakening, and I increasingly looked toward human help and external support.
The practice had strengthened me, but another stage of my journey was waiting.
Sahaja Yoga and the Inner Energy System
While searching for my Soul-self, I was introduced to Sahaja Yoga through Mataji Shri Nirmala Devi. I responded positively and practised the meditation with sincerity and regularity. I followed the rituals and learned more deeply about the subtle energy system and the awakening of the Kundalini.
Something within me shifted.
Nevertheless, my personal life remained highly dramatic. I continued exploring healing and self-cleansing methods taught by various Western teachers. Many of those courses were genuinely helpful. Through them, I began recognizing repeating patterns in my life. Sal Rachele explained about Soul behavior and the nature of forgiveness, and always reminds us use the affirmation that: I am a powerful creative Spiritual Being.
Slowly, I understood that I could not place responsibility entirely upon external people or circumstances. Something within me also had to be understood and cleared. I needed to examine my affirmations, thoughts, reactions, choices and actions. I needed to recognize my True Self.
What I then called the True Self, I now understand as movement toward Soul Consciousness - Atmaswaroop.
Jai Guruji and the Power of Gurbani
Later, I was introduced to Guruji Maharaj Nirmal Singh Ji, widely known as Jai Guruji, who established the Bade Mandir in New Delhi. Guruji was understood by devotees to carry immense spiritual power, and he reportedly said that the Bade Mandir held the power of twelve Shivlingas. He referred to himself as Maha Shiv.
Because of my Sikh roots, I felt especially connected to the Shabad and Gurbani sung during the Satsangs. I read the accounts of Satsangs available on the website and also studied the Shiv Puran. I practised mantra jaap regularly and continued meditating.
This period became another bridge in my journey: a bridge connecting devotion, Gurbani, mantra, meditation and the ongoing search for the deepest truth about the Self.
Finding Bapuji Dashrathbhai Patel Ji and Behad Gyan
A profound turning point came when my brother introduced me to the videos of Bapuji Dashrathbhai Patel Ji.
I watched hundreds of Bapuji’s videos. As I listened, many of the questions that had remained unresolved throughout my life began to receive answers. The many fragments of my journey: Soul, karma, energy, meditation, suffering, spiritual discipline, the inner worlds and the journey back to our Source, began coming together within a much larger understanding.
Everything brought me back to one central truth: understand the Soul and learn to remain in Soul Consciousness.
I read Life in Multiverse, which is based on Divine visions of Bapuji Dashrathbhai Patel. It reveals the expansive Cosmic architecture, creation, and the Hierarchy of various creators of the different levels of infinite celestial systems. This knowledge opened an entirely new spiritual and cosmic perspective for me. It eventually inspired me to begin the Life in Multiverse YouTube series, Q and A with Vani. And so, my YouTube channel, SoulJourney-ca, was born in August 2024.
I began practising Bapuji’s meditation, continue to read his books, watch his his videos and continue that practice today.
The external drama of my life has not completely disappeared. Difficult circumstances and karmic interactions still arise. But something within me has become more stable. I try to watch the situation as a witness, do my best within it and gradually detach from its emotional pull, no matter how compelling it may appear.
I do not claim perfection. I still struggle. But I now recognize the struggle with greater awareness.
The Lesson I Am Still Learning
One of my continuing challenges is the feeling that my intellectual or creative work may be taken, imitated or used without recognition. Yet this has also encouraged me to create something different, become even more creative and practise detachment. I have observed that spiritual organizations can uplift individuals, while human tendencies may still operate within them.
Sometimes service is appreciated more when it brings money, status, influence or another visible benefit to the organization. Sincere efforts to spread a teaching may not always be acknowledged. Comparison and jealousy can exist even among spiritual practitioners, as one fellow disciple once candidly revealed to me.
These experiences have been painful. But I do not wish to allow them to turn into resentment or another form of ego. We all doing our inner work and all kinds of tendencies will surface and resurface, until we recognize the pattern and consciously check ourselves.
Every spiritual organization is composed of human beings, and every human being is at a different stage of consciousness. The limitations of individuals do not erase the truth contained in a teaching, nor do they cancel the genuine help I received along the way.
My responsibility is to learn discernment without hatred, detachment without indifference, confidence without arrogance and service without losing myself.
I am learning to respect others while also respecting my own Soul. I am learning that oneness does not require silence in the face of unfairness. Humility does not mean making oneself invisible. Forgiveness does not mean repeatedly permitting the same harm. Service does not require surrendering one’s dignity, voice or rightful creative contribution.
I have therefore chosen to rise above comparison, jealousy and the desire for external validation. I choose to learn, respect and recognize the oneness of Souls while remaining true to the work entrusted to me.
I choose:
Be Bold.
Be True.
Be Kind.
Be You.
Gratitude for the Whole Journey
Today, I offer my gratitude to every spiritual teacher, direct and indirect, who has touched my life.
I bow in gratitude to Guru Nanak Dev Ji and Guru Gobind Singh Ji; to the devotion and strength represented by Pawan Putra Hanuman; to the Christian teachings of kindness and forgiveness; to Mr. Berry, who taught me that I am a Soul; to Maharaj Kirpal Singh and Maharaj Virsa Singh Ji; to the sacred discipline of prayer; to Bulleh Shah and the eternal vibration of Gurbani; to the teachings of Pranic Healing; to Sri Aurobindo and the Divine Mother; to Nichiren Daishonin, Josei Toda and Daisaku Ikeda Sensei; to Mataji Shri Nirmala Devi; to the Western teachers who helped me recognize and cleanse repeating patterns; to Guruji Maharaj; and finally, to Bapuji Dashrathbhai Patel Ji, whose Behad Gyan helped bring the scattered pieces of my lifelong search into a vast and meaningful spiritual understanding.
No stage was wasted.
No sincere prayer was lost.
No tear was meaningless.
No teacher needed to provide every answer. Each one offered something that my consciousness was ready to receive at that time. Even the apparent gaps, disappointments and unresolved questions moved me toward the next stage of my journey.
Perhaps the Ultimate Source - the Divine - was guiding me through all of them.
My suffering compelled me to search. My searching led me toward knowledge. Knowledge gradually revealed the Soul. And the recognition of the Soul is now teaching me how to watch the drama of life without becoming completely consumed by it.
I remain a student. I remain imperfect. I continue to learn, practise, observe and transform.
Above all, I remain grateful, not only for the teachers who comforted me, but also for the experiences that exposed my attachments, fears, expectations and spiritual ego. Together, they have brought me closer to understanding who I truly am, why I am here and how consciousness can begin its return journey home.
With humility and gratitude, I continue forward in the remembrance that before every identity, role, success, failure, praise or rejection, I am a Soul.
And every Soul, through knowledge, awareness, meditation and transformation, can begin the conscious journey back toward its eternal Source.
